St. Louis Zombie Apocalypse Injury Lawyers
If you or a loved one has been injured due to the brainless actions of a zombie horde, you may be entitled to compensation.
Zombie Personal Injury Lawyers?
Video games, movies, and Superbowl Ads all agree that the zombie apocalypse is fast approaching. While the Centers for Disease Control may say it won’t ever happen, the personal injury attorneys at Schultz & Myers Personal Injury Lawyers always err on the side of caution. That’s why we’d like to secure for ourselves a law career in a post-apocalyptic St. Louis.
So what kinds of personal injury cases should we expect after the Zombie Apocalypse?
Awaiting Zombie Court Ruling
First, we have to identify what we know about zombies. Typically, zombies are described as the “undead,” but in recent pop culture, the zombie outbreak begins with an infection. As such, there would ultimately have to be a court ruling or legislative action that will define whether or not a zombie is still a person.
This would be an important ruling because it would determine whether zombies still have rights, and whether they can be held responsible for their actions.
Zombified Patients’ Rights
The secondary question on everyone’s brains will be what caused the zombie virus in the first place.
There could be a class action lawsuit against any corporation that was responsible for creating the virus. Perhaps a defective-drug gone worse? If a pharmaceutical company manufactured a drug that created “Patient Zero,” that company could be held liable.
Zombie Bite Law
In a post-apocalyptic world, you have to make tough decisions to protect those you love most. If Grandpa turns into a zombie, and his family decides to keep him in their home, it will be their responsibility to ensure that he does not cause any harm to guests or neighbors.
Assuming zombies themselves cannot be sued for the decisions they make, they will require constant supervision. If, as a zombie caretaker, you let Zombified Grandpa run the streets at night, you may be held liable for any bites or infections inflicted upon neighbors.
Refer to your homeowner’s insurance policy to make sure you’re covered if your zombie eats someone’s brain.
Zombie Property Damage Claims
Suppose a horde of zombies attacks your car and breaks your windshield. Naturally, it would be unsafe to stop and exchange insurance information with the horde. So, who pays for the damage?
Hopefully, your own car insurance will cover the repairs. In this scenario, it is likely that zombies would again be treated as though a wild animal damaged your car. You’ll have to review your car insurance policy to make sure you’re covered.
St. Louis Zombie Apocalypse Lawyers
All in all, we should hope that the CDC is right, and there is no zombie apocalypse, because even the best personal injury lawyers don’t have any real experience in Zombie Law.
Happy April Fools Day from Schultz & Myers Personal Injury Lawyers!
All of us over at Schultz & Myers Personal Injury Lawyers would like to wish you a happy April Fools Day!
Schultz & Myers Personal Injury Lawyers is a REAL personal injury law firm with award-winning results. Stephen Schultz & Josh Myers have recovered over $50,000,000 for injured clients.